In social work, one of our most powerful tools for learning and growth is supervision. It’s where we process complex cases, examine our own perspectives, and deepen our understanding of critical issues like family violence. Recently, during a supervision session, we discussed a case that challenged my preconceptions about family violence and offered new insights on its definition.
The Case: Friendship or Family Violence?
My client was living rent-free in a friend’s home, where they occupied one of the rooms. However, this arrangement came with emotional costs. Over time, the friend began to verbally abuse my client, often threatening to “kick them out.” While my client felt unsafe and wanted to leave, financial constraints made it difficult to find alternative housing. They sought my support in finding a safer, affordable place to live, away from the toxic environment created by their friend’s outbursts.
Initially, I wondered if this situation could be classified as family violence, since the two people involved were not family members or romantic partners. But their shared living arrangement raised questions. Could a friendship, when it involves a shared home and financial dependence, meet the criteria for family violence? This question became the focal point of our supervision discussion.
Exploring the Definition of Family Violence
Family violence is often narrowly defined as abuse that occurs within a household or intimate relationship, typically involving family members or romantic partners. However, the broader definition encompasses any situation in which one person exerts control or power over another, creating an environment of fear and dependency. This can include economic, emotional, or physical abuse.
In Australia, family violence laws do not limit the definition to blood relatives or intimate partners; they also consider relationships where people live together or share an interdependent bond. While we usually think of family violence in terms of domestic partnerships or parent-child relationships, situations involving friends who live together can sometimes meet this threshold, especially when one person has significant control over the other’s living situation and well-being.
Key Questions: Control and Freedom to Leave
My supervisor asked an essential question that reframed my thinking: “Is the client being forced to stay, either through economic control or emotional manipulation?” This query clarified the essence of family violence. If a person cannot freely leave a harmful situation due to fear, dependency, or lack of resources, they are, in effect, trapped. In cases of family violence, this “entrapment” is often enforced through various means, such as controlling finances, isolating the victim, or making them feel worthless without the relationship.
In my client’s case, the answer was complex. The friend was not directly controlling my client’s money or preventing them from leaving; rather, financial hardship was the primary reason my client continued to endure the abusive environment. My client’s inability to afford rent elsewhere kept them in the friend’s home, despite the emotional abuse. Technically, there was no enforced stay through economic or emotional manipulation, but rather a situation where financial insecurity limited their choices.
Beyond Labels: Recognizing the Impact of Toxic Relationships
One of the valuable lessons from this supervision was that while my client’s situation might not strictly qualify as “family violence” in a legal sense, it still involved a toxic dynamic with significant impacts on their mental health. It underscored the importance of validating their experience, even if it didn’t fit the typical definitions. Just because someone has the technical freedom to leave doesn’t mean they are not affected by the stress, anxiety, and harm of a toxic relationship.
Moreover, my supervisor introduced another perspective: the client’s situation could be seen as “couch surfing”—an unstable living arrangement that increases their risk of homelessness. This reframe helped me recognize that, regardless of whether we label this as family violence, the client was still in a precarious position, needing both emotional support and resources to move forward.
The Power of Supervision in Shaping Our Understanding
As social workers, our role is to advocate for and support clients in complex situations, and supervision plays a crucial role in expanding our perspectives. My takeaway from this discussion was a deeper understanding of family violence that goes beyond rigid definitions. It’s not only about whether someone is legally bound to a relationship but about the emotional and financial entanglements that limit their choices and freedom.
This case reminded me that family violence can take many forms, some more subtle than others. Whether it’s between family members, romantic partners, or friends, when one person’s power over another creates a controlling or harmful environment, we must consider how we can best support our client’s right to live in safety.
Key Reflections on Family Violence
- Definitions Evolve with Context – Family violence is not confined to traditional relationships. Any shared living arrangement with power dynamics, dependency, and control can sometimes qualify, even in non-family settings.
- Freedom to Leave – A defining feature of family violence is whether the victim feels they have the freedom to leave. Control doesn’t always mean financial or physical barriers—it can be emotional and psychological as well.
- Validating Lived Experiences – Even if a case doesn’t meet the strict definition of family violence, acknowledging the client’s experience and feelings is essential. Every toxic relationship has the potential for harm, and our role is to help clients recognize and seek healthier environments.
- Supervision as a Learning Tool – Supervision offers invaluable opportunities to explore these complexities and refine our understanding, reminding us that social work is a field that requires empathy, flexibility, and a commitment to learning.
Final Thoughts
Through this case, I gained a renewed perspective on family violence, its definitions, and its nuances. As I continue in my practice, I am reminded of the importance of looking beyond labels to truly understand my clients’ experiences. Family violence is not always about clear-cut rules; it’s about understanding the power dynamics that shape a person’s ability to live freely and safely.
Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments—understanding family violence is a journey we can take together. #SocialWork #FamilyViolence #SupervisionInsights #SupportingClients #SocialWorkPractice
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